Psst. Did I tell you, I have a money tree in my garden?
I swear that’s what some people seem to think I said.
Especially local councils.
Their pretty, little envelopes dropping incessantly through my letterbox asking me for money is doing my friggin nut in.
I wouldn’t mind, but the bloody properties are empty – why the hell do you keep chasing me for council tax?
Oh, sorry I forgot, this is the new stealth tax designed to screw over all insanely rich, evil landlords. Of course, once I get a DSS tenant in that property you’ll demand the same monies from them won’t you…?
No, I didn’t think so.
As a property owner and a tax payer, I get to foot the bill twice.
It doesn’t matter one jot that the property is empty and that no services are being used whatsoever – you’ll charge me all the same for owning the property and contributing to your local services – NONE of which I am using.
But, of course, how silly of me to forget, I actually own the property in your neck of the woods and so regardless of whether I’m using the local services or not I have to pay my part.
Shame nobody thought to tell Amazon or Starbucks that we should all pay our fair share to contribute to this “better society”.
But, maybe you heard me whisper about the location of this money tree at the bottom of my garden?
Of course, I can understand why local councils have introduced such a charge – I mean central government have cut their funding and so what better way to stuff their coffers than go after private landlords who have the audacity to own an additional property. Little landlords don’t have the resources or the legal might of a big company of creative accountants to challenge any unfair regulations – so screw them.
Let’s go after the little people who can’t do much apart from complain and cry into their pint after a hard day’s work and feebly transfer pound after pound for fear of the red stream of ink and INCREASINGLY IRATE AND THREATENING LETTERS which will pour from your air-conditioned little cubicles.
I’d like to see how much you charge Amazon for their contribution to local services…oh sorry, I forgot, they’re not even based in the UK are they? It must be me, Amazon’s whacking great f**king sweat factories must just be a mirage in my imagination. But, that’s Milton Keynes for you.
But let’s not forget: We want to promote the UK as a nation of enterprise and encourage people to start their own businesses, look after their own pensions and be as independent as possible (especially from the state as they have no resources left for looking after any us). However, if you do any of that self-sufficient, entrepreneurial lark in property, you’re a goner.
Being a landlord needs to come with a health warning.
Owning a second property to rent out means you may as well have admitted you’re going to open an execution camp down the road for all the vitriol and criticism you’ll attract.
Oh – and the empty property council tax bills…