Well as you may have guessed from the title I am currently in foreign shores – although you could be forgiven for thinking I may be using a euphemism!
So we have been in Bangkok about 2 hours. It’s hot, it’s humid and it’s frenetic with activity. It’s also Songkran, which means water festival- and it is the Thai New Year. You cannot walk down the street without getting water pelted at you from giant bazooka water guns, water pistols, water poured over you from buckets and bowls and any other water holding recepticle! And to make matters more fun – and to show that you have been “got” they also cover you in flour. The flour is applied in the loveliest of ways – they hold your head and gently “paint” you with flour stripes on your face! 
So we were soaked through and we decided to stop at a street bar to immerse ourselves fully in the action. However, calling it a bar is probably being a bit generous – it was a piece of wood with a few bottles of beer in an ice bucket, a wireless radio blaring out Tina Turner and 3 plastic tables and some chairs.
Within moments we had realised that we had stopped at a rather “different” bar – It was called “Anna’s Bar” and Anna was rather, shall we say “different”. To look at she was a chubby, “homely looking” Thai lady. In her late 30s, with a broad smile, a raucous laugh and dressed in tight denim hot pants and a loose blue V necked top. We ordered 2 beers and took a seat at a spare table. Within moments Anna brings the beer over…and just a few seconds later returns. This time she pulls her top down, grabs her ample boobs from her top and protrudes her nipples proclaiming “you want some?… ”
Well I am not sure where to look – such an offering at a local street bar was not quite what I had expected. She looks me in the eye and repeats her question – this time more meaningfully while poking her nipple at me and gesturing wildly “You WANT some!” It was more a statement than a question. I smile and politely decline. She looks at me miffed. She cannot fathom why I have turned her ample bosom down. She walks off laughing.
Then she returns just a few moments later with something she is hiding behind her back. She quickly whips out a toy which she winds and places on the table next to our beer. It is a tiny copulating toy…and she laughs madly!
“YOU WANT SOME!! She declares and smiles passionately
Again I return her smile and decline – to which she grabs her crotch and writhes on her hand…and I still smile and decline.
Hmm my first beer in Bangcock….
James
I stayed in Bangkok for 2 nights at the Hilton (which was nice) before moving to Koh Samui for 12 days.
I remember I had a cab ride as I arrived. I had my guide book and I really wanted a restaurant that was a must visit (I forget the name now).
We drove for what seemed like 15 miles over the course of about 40 minutes before we asked to get out. It cost pennies for the journey before the wife noted that we were about 0.25 miles from our starting point.
The driver had driven us around (as if for us to lose our directional sense). We saw the funny side as lost tourists!
The sex bars are just so in your face its almost unbelievable, except they are very real when you are in Thailand. So many middle aged men taking a holiday alone!
Sam
I can understand that. Last night we tried to get a meter taxi – having been warned those are the ones you need to take. We got in the taxi and the driver proclaimed that it was too late to use a meter and that the fare was now a flat fee. Needless to say we just got out and found a more honest driver!!
Nick
If you aren’t careful your blog is going to get filled with Bangkok reminiscences ……
Glad you are enjoying yourselves, C’s uncle who lives there always goes on holiday to avoid the water festival!
Today I ended up in a Bangkok Brothel | What Sam Saw Today
[…] So having heard so much about Thai massage I decided I should sample one! Okay so we’ve been here now – ooooh all of 5 hours. Call it jetlag, call it heatstroke – I was feeling brave (and this is after the sex-ploits of Anna’s Bar!) […]
Rich Greenland
OMG you arrived jet-lagged during songkraan! In at the deep end then! I used to hole up in my apartment for the full three days, it wasn’t safe to go out. Once when the email was down, I got a taxi to a cyber-cafe in Banglampoo but they were there with the buckets of iced water, waiting… I just told the taxi to turn around and go back.
I love BKK so much, I love all the weird stuff that happens like that! The first time I went there I made an arrangement to meet a friend @ bar in Patpong, got in a tuk-tuk, which should have been about 20 mins, but I spent over an hour crouched in the back choking on the filthy fumes. Eventually we arrived, at… a brothel with a massive plate glass window inside. Behind it were 20 – 30 women in revealing dresses, each with a number pinned to the shoulder of her dress. The tuk-tuk had presumed that bcs I was going to Patpong (red-light zone, as well as best nightclubs and a night market) I wanted sex. He also wanted 150 baht!!! Grrr!!! Took me another hour to get back in a taxi.
BTW ‘Good’ Thai ladies are somewhat quiet and demure, the raucus laugh and short hotpants probably denotes a streetgirl of some sort. Oh and they usually have small pointy boobies, are you sure she wasn’t a silicone kitoey?
Sam
Yes sure she wasn’t – they were all real. We have seen the ladyboys – boy are they gorgeous!!