The fox sits in the carpark. I don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy, but it has a very bushy tale and a lean body. I think the tail may almost be as long as the actual body of the fox nose to bum. That is, before the tail begins.
Looked at from afar, the fox is a splendid animal. Its coat is the colour of a cozy lit fire in a warm pub with a streak of lightening on its chest. Its face is angular and pointy like the bra Madonna vogued in.
I don’t know much about foxes, but I know at night they make sounds which are inhumane. And when I say that, you need to visualise a carpark rammed full of really cute babies being tortured. I’m sorry, I know it’s not a nice image and so I won’t even go into the implements. But that is how foxes sound at night.
When I lived out of the city, coming across a fox was a rather exotic sighting. Something akin to seeing a wildebeest in your back garden. But now I live in the city, there’s no exoticism anymore.
I’m watching the fox sitting in the carpark. And I’m wondering what it’s going to do. It doesn’t seem to be looking at anything ready to pounce, nor waiting to be joined by any foxy friends. In fact, now I think about it, it doesn’t seem to be looking at anything at all.
And so I peer closer wondering if the fox is blind. I’m at a bit of a distance and so I have to use my phone’s camera to zoom in. The amber and black flecks look normal, I can’t see any clouding or bluishness to the eyeballs, but then I’m not a fox expert.
I wonder therefore, what facts should I know about a fox. I google it with half an eye watching the fox, not watching anything, in the carpark.
I learn the following facts about foxes:
- A group of foxes is referred to as a skulk, leash, charm or earth. That’s pretty fascinating and I find it hard to believe I didn’t know that before. I recall learning a group of unicorns is called a blessing, but I’ve yet to spot any to impress my friends.
- Foxes are able to run between 30 and 40 miles per hour. That’s faster than Usain Bolt.
- A fox has excellent hearing and can hear a mouse squeak 100 ft. away. I look at the fox and wonder if it can hear me tippity-tapping on my laptop.
The fox stands up and walks to my neighbour’s trainer which his dog chewed earlier this morning and abandoned in the carpark. It hovers over the shoe for a moment and then jumps onto the fence and disappears from view.
I look at my neighbour’s trainer: the fox has taken a dump in his shoe.
That’ll teach him to buy Nike knock-offs!