Today was an unbelievably sunny day. One of those beautiful winter days where the sky is blue and the ground is crisp and I, annoyingly, had to stay home and work while my visitors gallivanted off to have fun around the tourist sights.
Anyway, my treat for later was that we were going to have a traditional Greek Moussaka made for us!
Later that night, the intrepid tourists return shopping bags in hand, ready to whip up a feast.
“We got some wine that was a really good offer, Sam!” They proudly present to me two bottles which are clearly labelled ‘Alcohol Free Wine’. I hesitate and dither. Do I say anything? What do I do?
“OK, great” I reply, backing off for fear of spoiling the excitement.
And so the great cook-off commences.
I open a wine I already had in the fridge (with alcohol) and we chat about the day.
Then the girl tourist asks me if I have any more wipes in the bathroom so she can remove her make-up.
“Sure,” I reply and jump up to locate said item in the store cupboard.
“These wipes are really good for taking off make-up, much better than the ones I have at home,” she declares.
“That’s good,” I reply, and then pause, I didn’t think I’d left make-up wipes in their room and so I’m now unsure what wipes I’m meant to be looking for. “Do you want to show me what ones you’re after?”
She goes off to the bathroom and comes back with an empty packet of Andrex toilet wipes.
I look at her agog.
“But, these aren’t make-up remover wipes,” I say, horrified, checking her face to make sure she hasn’t taken half of it off.
“Aren’t they, what are they for?” she asks.
“They’re wet wipes for wiping your bum!” I manage to say through screams of laughter.
“Oh,” she says, looking a little crestfallen, “you mean I can’t use them?”
“Well,” I say, realising maybe I don’t need to be so autocratic, “I don’t think they’re intended for your face…”
“But, they can be used on my bum?”
She looks at me triumphantly. “Well,” she declares, “I will then have a bum face!”