As a landlord you forever need an army of contractors to sort out an alarming array of property issues. So, it was with interest that I came across Fat Steve’s Bootcamp building course in Bulgaria.
For £599 you get 13 nights full board and will learn to build a cabin in Bulgaria. This price excludes flights, but it does state “you will not go hungry” which I think is comforting to hear from someone called Fat Steve.
The building malarky sounds interesting, and Fat Steve claims it is an “unforgettable real boys adventure”, which I’m going to forgive him for because he wasn’t to know I am a girl. And, anyway, it appears as long as I do not run around in my bikini I am very welcome to “knock nails into pieces of wood”.
And even while knocking said nails into pieces of wood I will at least be under the expert tuition of time-served and semi-retired tradesmen who have more building experience than you can “shake a stick at” (although, I am sure Fat Steve probably means the piece of wood which I have been knocking nails into – but I’m getting pedantic).
So what exactly will you learn from this course? In Fat Steve’s favourite phrase: “oodles”:
– How to make footings, measure and cut frames, put up frames squarely and keep them square (which I find is often a problem)
– Construct an apex roof and learn how to tile it (am thinking my textile experience will transfer well here)
– Fit cladding and insulate it (useful for upping the EPC ratings)
– Learn how to fit a consumer board and wire up for lighting and sockets (not sure I’ll pass Part P, but at least I’ll know what my sparky is doing)
– How to plumb water supplies (I’m qualified to dig holes – the bigger the better)
– Fit a wood burning stove/fire (I usually plug them in when purchased from B&Q)
– Fit and plumb a radiator (a step up from my ‘bleeding a radiator’ expertise)
– Plasterboard and fill joints (I should be OK with a bit of crack filling)
And I have to agree it is a tremendous amount to learn in just 14 days. But, to be honest, it sounds like a lot of hard work and I quickly find myself thinking back to running around in my bikini. But, Fat Steve is reassuring: “it’s not too strenuous” he claims, which for a wanna-be-bikini-wearing-gad-about is exactly what I wanted to hear.
On top of that, Fat Steve has even organised excursions to shopping malls (yes, I believe I can manage that), a lake (useful for the bikini), nature walks (as long as it doesn’t bite) and bird spotting (holding binoculars is one of my party tricks). Although frankly I’m not sure I agree with Fat Steve’s sentiments about being lucky to spot a wolf. Perhaps, I have been too scarred by my fairytale upbringing because as far as I remember wolves eat people…
Anyway, the real clincher for me was Fat Steve’s claim that it will be a LIFE CHANGING EXPERIENCE. He says:
“Trust me this is a life changing experience. You will think different about Blighty! It will open your mind to new horizons…”
Which sounds pretty convincing and he almost had me scrabbling for my debit card to book my place. But, then I saw he sells a product manual that claims “This baby will never sag or fall over” . I’m not sure if this is still about learning DIY, but ever hopeful to find the elixir of youth, I’ve ordered my very own copy.