Rockefeller Didn’t Rock My Boat

22 Mar

“It’s all about the view” said Alex, charm personified.

Alex had glided over to me at the private viewing and evening reception for the Du Parc Kempinski private residences in the heart of the Swiss Riviera.

I turned to look at the view:

kempinski du parc

Admittedly, it was spectacular.

But, you know for a 2 bed apartment with a starting price of £4million I have certain expectations – a half decent view is something I would take as a given.

And maybe I’m spoilt – but I’ve seen better views.

So I told him.

Unflappable, as only a professional from Knight Frank could be, Alex continued to soothe and sell.

Because, not only does this multi-million pound apartment buy you spectacular views, it buys you an “exceptional lifestyle” – an “unprecedented standard of Swiss living”.  The ad on the wall expounds to me the benefits of such a lifestyle:


But somehow I am left feeling flat.

The grand lobby, home cinema, wine cellar, golf club membership, Davidoff cigar lounge, fitness and wellness centre, Rockefeller living, Kempinski 5 star service and promise of a “quintessentially elite service” just feel a bit *meh*.

Of course, quite obviously I am not a target customer – target customers are High Net Worth Individuals, which means at least £10 million cash, or Ultra High Net Worth which is £100 million cash at disposal.

So maybe I just didn’t “get it”.

I sipped my Laurent Perrier some more and looked around me.

138kempinski du parckempinski du parc

I had multiple life-size images of Claudia Schiffer, 2 giant iPads attached to the wall and a plastic looking model of what the “exceptional living” complex looks like.

It’s no wonder I was unimpressed: I used to work in marketing selling pints of beer for a few quid and we would have put on a better show than this.

At this end of the market, when you’re worth so much bloody money you expect and demand more.  You expect to be dazzled and wowed.  You expect a show.  You expect a full-on experience.  You expect more than a few posters, giant iPads and a model building.

You want to feel the coolness of the Swiss environment, you want to smell and taste the crispness of the air, you want to really feel and experience the quintessentially elite service and 5 star appeal of Kempinski – and handing out duck canapes, no matter how delicious they are – just do not cut the mustard.

But, of course, a High Net Worth or Ultra High Net Worth will most likely not attend an event such as this.  If you’re lucky, they may send an intermediary.  But, even that intermediary needs to be impressed. That intermediary needs to buy into the “why’s” of this exceptional living to go back and report to the boss.

Rockefeller Estates may well have created a luxury development “tailored to the needs of enlightened lifestyle connoisseurs”.   But, personally, I think somebody in their marketing department needs to be enlightened!


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