Archive | January, 2013

Let Me Go – I Don’t Love You Anymore!

10 Jan

estate agent tricks

So in the past 24 hours the estate-agents-who-did-not-sell-my-house-for-almost-FOUR-months have phoned me TWICE.

That is as many times as they phoned me in the entire time I was on the market with them trying to sell my house.

Now I am NOT trying to sell my house with them, they are calling me and emailing me like there is no tomorrow – which, of course, for them and me there isn’t!

At this point, I am reminded of the saying “absence makes the heart grow fonder” but it’s relevance to real estate feels somewhat tenuous.

So why are the estate-agents-who-did-not-sell-my-house now calling and emailing me?

Because they have the “golden egg”, they have what I have wanted all along…Potential Buyers.

Yes, apparently within the last 24 hours they have miraculously found TWO parties who are desperate to view my house and who they think will be *ideal*

One of them has even viewed it last year and now also wants to take her husband along to “have a look”.  Of course, it’s amazing that she wants her husband’s opinion now my property is NO longer being sold by the estate agent in question.

And of course, these people who want to view this Saturday are desperate to view and desperate to move

It’s just a shame none of this happened when the estate agents had an agreement with me that they would be selling my house


They waited until the magical moment when I had terminated the agreement to wheel out these would-be buyers to try and tempt me back.

Well I won’t be tempted.

estate agent dirty tricks

I won’t be tricked into this game of “we have viewers lined up who are desperate to buy”.

I will not be seduced.  I will not fall for the forbidden fruit being dangled in front of my eyes…

And I won’t fall for the trick of “Shall we tell these INTERESTED buyers that your property is now OFF the market”

Seriously, if these people actually want to buy my house, all they have got to do is go onto Rightmove and they will see I am still listed there.

Luckily for them, if they did actually view it last year then my house is now £5k cheaper – which has got to be a great January sale bargain worth buying!

I WILL Sell Your House Said The Estate Agent – FNAR!!!

9 Jan

How to find an estate agent to sell my house

I know, we’ve heard it ALL before: I will sell your house (said emphatically, with a BIG smarmy grin by nice Mr Estate Agent in pressed pin stripe prim suit)

Of course you will”  you think  “And next month I will be sailing joyously around the Caribbean on the proceeds of said sale as you will sell my house so quickly and for so much more money than what I have ever envisaged”


But the reality is – I’m stuck: I have a house I want to sell and which will not blinking sell.

Previously, I have blamed the time of year, the weather, the recession, the price, the property …and then yesterday – the estate agents!


*Imagine petulant 3 year old stroppy tantrum*

Because it’s not fair – my neighbours have sold their house, which is not as nice as mine, within 3 weeks of it being on the market.

And I have decided it is because they had a better estate agent than me.

So I haven’t fart arsed about, I’ve called the other estate agents and asked them to come and have a look at my house.

They came, they looked, they ummed, arrhed and ooed in all the right places.  Told me I had to cut £5k off the price and then they would sell it within 3-4 weeks.

*Roll of eyes*

*Tut of tongue*

*FNARR* was what my cynical brain said.

“FNAR, right, that was what the last ones said!” I said.  And I had. My rudeness took me by surprise as well – and I capped it off nicely with a right royal smarmy smirkface.

If I’d have been the estate agent I would have punched me on the nose for my insolence.

But I think his pin stripes held him back.  It was either them, or the huge A4 leather-look binder folder which was weighing his twitching fist down.

Un-punched I left the property and shook his hand.

I slept on it.

I decided enough – “By hook, or by crook, I will sell this house”

How to find an estate agent to sell my house

I battle walked my way to Mr-estate-agents-who-still-haven’t-sold-my-house-despite-my-neighbours-selling-within-3-weeks and terminated our agreement.

Then I sauntered to Mr-I-didn’t-punch-you-in-the-face-for-your-rudeness-when-I-claimed-I-will-sell-your-house-within-3-4-weeks-estate-agent and signed the contract and gave him the keys.

Despite it all, I am still interested to see if a High Street Estate Agency does have a magic cauldron bubbling out the back of their offices brimful of motivated buyers rather than the spotty, geeky YTS scheme youth who I think lives there making their tea and fixing the printer.

And in the meantime – I am still listed on Hatched – who I am praying will find me a motivated buyer soon – because then I get to save at least £3k in estate agent fees!

But you know – I’d rather have 1% of something than 100% of nothing 🙂

How Do You Sell A House?

7 Jan

So it’s been 3 months and 3 weeks, or rather 113 days since I put my refurbished property on the market for sale with both a high street estate agents and an online estate agents.

That is a whole lot longer than I ever imagined being on the market for sale without an offer.

So what’s the story?

The high street estate agency has had a number of viewings (no definitive number has been given, despite my attempts to quantify) but no takers.  The feedback I have received is that people in general seem to like the house, but “are in no rush to buy”.  They have called me twice in the sales period of 113 days.  The star manager (and the reason why I went to them in the first place) has been headhunted to a competitor in a different town.  I am unsure what the estate agent are doing to actually “sell” my house, but when I talk to them (which is pretty seldom) they offer me “positive-news-around-the-corner” but this has never materialised.

With Hatched, the online estate agency, I get weekly statistics from Rightmove showing my property performance (which always look pretty good) but so far has translated to just 4 viewings.

Of those 4 viewings I have learned a whole wealth of market research on house buyers that I didn’t know before and it has to be said – there is nowt as queer as folk.

Here are the key reasons why people are NOT going to buy my house:

– It does not have enough period features or character.  Well, this is truly understandable – it is a 1960s build and was therefore not built with the necessity for open coal fires before the days of gas central heating or any other such modern conveniences which we now take for granted.

– A glass hob would be preferable to cook on rather than the Neff range and as such would necessitate a whole kitchen re-design.  This is also understandable, the kitchen was designed around the range in a bid to give the kitchen a central focal point.  (see above – this was my modern take on trying to create “character” in a 1960s house).

– The path to the property is too narrow.  This I don’t get.  A path is a path.  It is a standard path width.  It is a path not a road, or a runway.  It is a path.  And having checked on the width of other paths I believe it to be the same width as these other paths and no less narrow.

Truthfully, the whole experience has been a bit disappointing for me.

How can i get my property to sell

I still don’t fully understand what the estate agents are doing to sell my house (besides listing my property for sale on all the property portals), and I don’t really understand what people are looking for when they are viewing my house (apart from a wider path, glass hob and more period features).

What I do know is that within the last 48 hours a house 2 doors down from us has now SOLD and they have been on the market for LESS time than us!

This has made me MEGA-MAD

I have seen this property. It is not as big as ours, has not been fully modernised and is MID terraced to our END terrace.


It was £5k cheaper and on with a different estate agent.

So what do I take from this?

Do I just reduce our price by £5k?

Do I go with the other estate agent who sold the neighbours house?

Honestly, I am not really sure what to do next…

How do you sell a house???

********** UPDATE ***************

Have just spoken to estate agents who sold neighbours house – that was sold within 3 weeks – yes THREE weeks.  So I have that estate agent coming round later today as I need to find out what I am doing wrong!!!