Well as you may have guessed from the title I am currently in foreign shores – although you could be forgiven for thinking I may be using a euphemism!
So we have been in Bangkok about 2 hours. It’s hot, it’s humid and it’s frenetic with activity. It’s also Songkran, which means water festival- and it is the Thai New Year. You cannot walk down the street without getting water pelted at you from giant bazooka water guns, water pistols, water poured over you from buckets and bowls and any other water holding recepticle! And to make matters more fun – and to show that you have been “got” they also cover you in flour. The flour is applied in the loveliest of ways – they hold your head and gently “paint” you with flour stripes on your face!
So we were soaked through and we decided to stop at a street bar to immerse ourselves fully in the action. However, calling it a bar is probably being a bit generous – it was a piece of wood with a few bottles of beer in an ice bucket, a wireless radio blaring out Tina Turner and 3 plastic tables and some chairs.
Within moments we had realised that we had stopped at a rather “different” bar – It was called “Anna’s Bar” and Anna was rather, shall we say “different”. To look at she was a chubby, “homely looking” Thai lady. In her late 30s, with a broad smile, a raucous laugh and dressed in tight denim hot pants and a loose blue V necked top. We ordered 2 beers and took a seat at a spare table. Within moments Anna brings the beer over…and just a few seconds later returns. This time she pulls her top down, grabs her ample boobs from her top and protrudes her nipples proclaiming “you want some?… ”
Well I am not sure where to look – such an offering at a local street bar was not quite what I had expected. She looks me in the eye and repeats her question – this time more meaningfully while poking her nipple at me and gesturing wildly “You WANT some!” It was more a statement than a question. I smile and politely decline. She looks at me miffed. She cannot fathom why I have turned her ample bosom down. She walks off laughing.
Then she returns just a few moments later with something she is hiding behind her back. She quickly whips out a toy which she winds and places on the table next to our beer. It is a tiny copulating toy…and she laughs madly!
“YOU WANT SOME!! She declares and smiles passionately
Again I return her smile and decline – to which she grabs her crotch and writhes on her hand…and I still smile and decline.
Hmm my first beer in Bangcock….